I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
