It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
wow bdsm is so cute
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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