I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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