fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
tell me about the fingering
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