Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Floor bacon is actually really good
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
