Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
