But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
