I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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