We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
