it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
