you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
