I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
