you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
