I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
