I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
