I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
do herpes really smell.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
