I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
