honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
