and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You took a bar mat shot.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
