I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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