Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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