you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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