Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
