shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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