You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
