your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
