Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
