I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
