well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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