i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
