Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
