Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
