I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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