did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
