he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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