i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
