He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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