we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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