First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
