Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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