Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
