I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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