So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
