I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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