think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
