I could have mohawked her pubes.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
