very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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