put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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