Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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