Plan B is the new Plan A
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
